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Association of Water Volleyball Professionals
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 Post subject: WW BBD
PostPosted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 9:57 pm 
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That's big boy day...

Small ball worked poorly today, and it has to be very on to win. Chemistry missing. I blame a couple phantom players--Backtome could not be found, and Datbeyou was everpresent!

Which means that the bigs were loose upon the land--Triple D quadruple dominated--Dub, Dan Dwayne were rarely stopped at the net, although Dan's turbo palms were out of calibration today--no psalms for palms!

Johnny football, I mean volleyball, aka Attorney Scott, showed up late and in rare form. Added to the pound town earthquake.

It's about time the bigs ran rampant. I salute you--now get off me!

Wrote a song about it--wanna hear it, here it go:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CevxZvSJLk8

We were able to count to 12, today. Enough to fight with, and a nice start to build a league on next season:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTUrWYv2vtU

Nice robe, Cyrus! I had one of those once...

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 11:25 pm 
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Since Jess keeps trying to tell me how he is superior to me and my opinions in water volleyball, I hereby declare myself as the worst player in the history of the universe.

From now until eternity I shall be considered the worst performer in the sport of water volleyball and I wish to never be considered in an analysis of the skill level hierarchy of water volleyball players.

I have seen the fnord and may the panda be with me.


:whitietightie:

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 10:31 am 
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Great! I received a barrage of nasty texts from Jess last night.

Apparently I am a hater and a fag wanna be ball hog. I need to get with with times. He rules. Every time I play him he wins. I should get used to it. I must kneel to sod. He is the supreme. Like it or not.

I'm not sure if I'm a fag who wants to be a ball hog or a ball hog who wants to be a fag.

I guess this is all because I said I think Mikey is the best player, and I won't let Jess drink in my car. Oh and I think we shouldn't push it at Deerfield anymore this year.

So now I'm a fag.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 3:15 pm 
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I demand to be known as the worst player in the AWVP.

I suggest a new award: LVP

Don't even try to say I'm not the worst, or Ima gonna go ape shit on yo ass!

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 3:43 pm 
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Fag


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 3:49 pm 
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LVP lol

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 3:56 pm 
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Poor wittle danny cant handle some smack :flipoff:

I said i am the best player in the water you said no I am Then went on a huge mikey is the best, I vote for him every year no matter how that year went. I think thats bullshit but you are entitled


Sir you started this when you said the winner of next game is the best last week and I won the next 4 in a row :hilarious:

Cant handle the heat then get the fuk out of my kitchen son :clubinhand:


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 4:43 pm 
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Wild Jethro wrote:
I said i am the best player in the water you said no I am Then went on a huge mikey is the best, I vote for him every year no matter how that year went. I think thats bullshit but you are entitled


I don't vote for him every year but he is the best and I am the worst. I don't like it in your kitchen. Get me the fuck out of here!

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:02 pm 
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Wild Jethro wrote:
I said i am the best player in the water you said no I am Then went on a huge mikey is the best, I vote for him every year no matter how that year went. I think thats bullshit but you are entitled


I don't know what I was thinking. I am the worst player in the water. I actually enjoy losing. Your heat sucks! I don't want it.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 11:51 pm 
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Geez, boys, smack has been part of this game since, I suspect, before any of us were playing. Which means it's time for a history lesson

I think we've all tooted our own horn more than once. Lord knows in my younger days I wove a tapestry of smack. Still got a talent for it, which will no doubt outlast my ability to play. Mark my words, you'll all rue the day where I'm just lippin from the sidelines.

20 some years into my career, I look at things a little differently--more like the politically correct (paraphrased) line from Bull Durham: "I'm just glad I gave the fans a good show, did my job out on the field, and hope to do the same the next game."

Moral of the story: keep your talk and your game in equilibrium.

Smack has its place--it can pump you up, it can pump your team up, it can be funny, you can use it to lobby for awards (more on that later), it can be used as negative reinforcement to motivate teammates to stop sucking, or to take the fight out of your opponents.

But there's a flip side to everything...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4VpE-0zitU

You taunt a team or player you've got beat, they may come back on you, and they will remember--you just painted a big rolling stones lip target on your back/forehead.

Going back 7-8 years, I don't remember being particularly smack tastic to Dan, not more than I was in general. I would point for the ball when up against him on the net in his rookie year, and would win those battles. I'm told Dan did not care for that--he either had to fight, or quit. Rumor has it he chose to fight.

Hell, I enjoyed that first year. I like nothing better than chumping big fellas. The second year, I definitely did NOT enjoy. Creepy Dan crushed me the entire season.

Behold the positive power of smack! Private Pyle was given the proper motivation. Now I knew that, in motivating him, he was going to take my head off when he got good. That's a risk a DI must be willing to take. And it paid off, not so much for me, but for the private, and the league.

My motto has always been I'll fight just as hard with you as I will against you, and so does my smack!

This kind of smack shall NOT be tolerated in this league: "You suck, and you don't belong here." It creates monsters.

That's what I got when I came out for my first day at Argosy. Held that grudge ever since. Turned me into Bennie Blanco from the Bronx:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbJiBJHeOX8

Look at me now, Papi!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7idM_2FcilQ

The inner psychology of smack = projection--from Hamlet: "I could live inside a walnut and think myself the king of infinite space, were it not that I had bad dreams." Let that one bake your noodle for a while.

We took it up a notch by actually giving awards for excellence. I didn't expect it would create all the acrimony that it has, but I should have.

Same speech I give every year. We came up with awards to show we were organized, and recognized talent. People were confused when they got them. Didn't know what they meant. Trivia question--who was the first Rookie of the Year?

They used to be given out by a Council of Elders--which means a few old school pandas would get together, drink your awards (which were beers we were going to drink anyway, but it's the thought that counts), and then decide who was good.

Back then awards were bestowed from on high by the Gods of Olympus. But it seemed a little elitist. So, I gave you grabastic pieces of amphibian shit the vote, against the advice of some of the other elders, and with the abstention of others, who thought awards were a waste of time in the first place.

And my goodness what chaos has followed. It's a truism--democracy is messy. And politics is like making sausage--you don't want to see what goes into it, or know what you're eating.

You only have yourselves to blame with the outcome of a vote! Everyone who shows up and has played a fucking down has one! I always push every year to have this event, against great inertia. Here's why, in no particular order:

I love panda corps and watervolleyball
What's wrong with having an end of the season party to talk about what we did and why we did it?
We are from different walks of life and have many different opinions, but we all agree that we like playing ball. Coming together for one event where there is no ball shouldn't be that hard, and shows we are a community.
It's good for recruiting--shows we are organized, dedicated, and think about what we do. And know how to have fun outside the court--hell, you might even make some new friends that way!
The theory is that if you show talent, and can win the crowd (!), you will be recognized and rewarded.
If you didn't get the result you wanted in the vote, there's always next year!

Anything wrong with what I've put forward above? Because there's usually a lot of negative feedback on what should be a positive event.

Now, I've asked Jared to host this year's awards ceremony. Unilaterally I'll admit, but I now have support from several pandas. The center of gravity of the league for this year has moved north--ergo, the ceremony should be north--close enough for new Riata players, and old ones, like Tbone, to be able to attend.

So, back to Congress it goes--should there be an awards ceremony? If so: Where should it be? When should it be? Who are this year's nominees?

In this brave new world, you won't even get a proverbial gold watch when you retire from the real world, so why not fight your heart out for a tin can? And it should to you, because those of you who read this or play regularly were all bitten by the bug--don't deny it, you joined up, and we have been so very very effective as guerrilla fighters, even if you think my methods are unsound--I vote for an awards ceremony!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9oBiD7-kAM

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 Post subject: Addenda
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:07 am 
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I forgot to tell you how I got mine when the Savior came to town--I beat College Mike once, which motivated him to come back out.

And, since we were the two best players in the pool during a very long and arduous Argosy rebuilding period. We weren't allowed to play together--only as opponents.

Shall we say there has been, and always shall be, a bit of a age/physical/talent gap there. So I took Crom knows how many shots to the head, followed by "What side was that, Private Pyle!"

So listen up, you pansy ass whiners! I've been beaten on by the best, and you're not always respectful when doing so! I recommend you have the heart and fortitude to stick with it, and let your game speak for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9oBiD7-kAM

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 Post subject: Another version of WW
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:18 am 
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1_uCeBCYtU

Except the big guys won!

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:19 am 
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I face this potentiality every time I get out there

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:32 am 
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Smack fest in more ways than one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZhn6v9mHvc

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:36 am 
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These days, we're more like the UFC--any team can go down, hard. It happens. Doesn't mean you weren't good fighters, or that the other team shouldn't celebrate. But when one team's in rhythm and you are not, it can turn on ya, real fast--can it not?

Doesn't mean you don't smack talk. See the classic Wescott pre TX OU prediction last year.

This is the only truism for this league, and a good thing that it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJnKm6ftPu0

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:11 pm 
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I'm tired of taking shit from Jethro because I don't allow drinking in my car. I'm nice enough to drive your ass so quit bitching at me that I am now "the man" because I won't let you booze it up in my car. I think it's stupid in this day and age to do that.

This stupid fucking pissing match smack talk that you are the greatest became so hideous that I want no part of it.

And I don't think we should push it at Deerfield anymore this year. I know you think it's all good if we play with residents, but what if management comes out and says that we are the group of non-residents that was playing without any residents and were mouthing off to their patrol and we are no longer welcome to come to the pool. The season's almost over and I think we should let things calm down and try again next year. It would suck to lose that venue.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 9:31 pm 
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The circle is now complete--either I am in agreement with Dan, or he is in agreement with me!

Hard to say, really, with all the smack flying around.

If Deer really has to be played, like the residents are begging for players (I doubt that's the situation), it will need to be by invitation only, with 1 guest per resident, and the guest list for the remainder of this year should not involved the attorney panda who will not be named who made things worse.

Residents also need to know that ball is a commitment--if you call it down, you're potentially bringing in the full wrath of Panda Corps:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKaYOW9zMoY

We don't F around. That's not one of the lessons I ever taught you. F'ing around, I mean. I don't toy with my prey--never been good enough to do so.

Soo, if they bring us down there, or are persuaded to do so (the more likely outcome based on the evidence), they need to be present, in force, on time, and remain for the duration of play. No getting high and wandering off. They must be instructed that if they don't adhere to these basic tenets, they may never play ball on their own court again.

So ride em on that, south siders! And that being said, for Crom's sake use some freaking restraint. A real easy one would be you don't even show until you get the text that something like 4 residents have assembled to welcome you.

Does that make sense? You simply can't take a place over anymore--too risky. I don't want you S side guys to lose what you've got. I'd love to see you build it into something the Corps can enjoy. Residents have to be front and center, and in sufficient numbers. If they won't, you can always try to shame them--Deer could be the next big thing--we'll buy your beer every day--instead, you let like 20 people down. How does that make you feel?

I'm good at this, having been through it.

So, we've addressed smack, and wither the Deer this year and next. What's left?

Oh yeah, a dispute between two pandas. This one seems pretty simple. Resolve it yourselves, off site. However, since it's on site, those who want to travel on Danair should probably abide by the regulations of the DAA, or they will likely end up on the no fly list.

This is America, you have the right to refuse service to anyone:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2NaHBVVYzY

Although the rebellion to rules aspect of this whole imbroglio reminds me of Dan, in a Creepy sort of way...

The Hon. Chief(retired) has spoken. Should I add to my opinion that you are poopy heads, and I like cheese? It's the least I can do!

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 10:16 am 
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Let The Lip settle this...Jethro had his MVP year when he truly was the correct choice...Fact, he hasnt played up to that level since maybe due to injuries, maybe due to age, maybe due to others getting better, maybe due to really only liking the Obstacle, and maybe all of this...

Now, Dan does have his moments...Kind of amazing that he is able to spike and block w/o ever leaving his feet, and is in that small circle of players I have seen over the years that is afraid to have his head go under water...Literally will do almost anything to avoid face getting near water surface...That is usually trait of players over the years that are afraid of water or cant swim...Which is it or both?

The top 5 players in no particular order are w/o a doubt Mikey aka College Boy (how many decades ago was college btw?!?), Edub/Eduardo (oft recipient of the Indefensible Play), Ford the pirouettet w/ ability to spike balls that arent even above net horizon, Scotty Power and Serve Return Thritter (before 2nd beer), and PatPantsPlacementKiller...Thats the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth...

Jess had his top 5 days, but is now on the outside looking in until he gets his jumping/spiking/shoulder back...Admittedly, if Jess chose to go full time PG he would take that mantle of best PG...

Best hitter under 6ft definitely Wescott...


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 10:41 am 
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The Lip wrote:
Now, Dan does have his moments...Kind of amazing that he is able to spike and block w/o ever leaving his feet, and is in that small circle of players I have seen over the years that is afraid to have his head go under water...Literally will do almost anything to avoid face getting near water surface...That is usually trait of players over the years that are afraid of water or cant swim...Which is it or both?


I jump all the time. I don't know why people can't see it.

Yes I am afraid of the water and I can't swim. That's why I play water volleyball.

Now for a comment on the Lip. If the Lip grunts, that ball is going out.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:20 am 
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or in the net...

I still think you are afraid of your head going underneath...I wasnt making jokes w/ that...A few players over the years will do anything to keep their face above the water, and all of them had in common that they couldnt swim...


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 12:08 am 
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Oh no, look what you've done. Made me agree with the gist of what the Lip is saying once again, and disclose the philosophical secrets of Zen and the art of watervolleyball.

Once the Mexican Lippy mask is removed, LJ is one of the wiser commentators about this game--so was T2, so go figure...

His persona is offensive, but his comments are generally correct. I would agree that Jess needs to make some alterations in his game--don't we all, but he's been stepping up quite a bit when it comes to the playoffs. One thing LJ didn't mention, he doesn't tolerate scrubs very well, and loses interest when you got a day full of em. That can take the stuffing out of just about any player. Moving on...

This is the reason I was able to exist, and can still exist in any fashion on an obstacle:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWaxF8jlnm0

There are different rules in water than there are on land--some land rules can be bent, others can be broken.

To get to the particulars, water is your friend. Gravity is less of a factor, if you do it right--don't step like you're in peanut butter, lay out--fly, be free!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9Nh0Fvoe9k

And, you know what happens to me when I use my water skillz on land? I look like I have bad footwork and hit the ground with a giant thud!

But we're talking about water here, people. I just saw Tbone do a diving fallback hit today, and he's not going to be confused with a ballerina.

Some people do these moves, many do not. I'm one of the better tiny dancers out there!

Let's go to weaknesses. For many years, I wouldn't try to go up to block at all. I wasn't good at it, and would just turn to try to field back row digs. WRONG! Even if you can't jump, you gotta go up. Makes the hitter think, may take away at least one lane, and every once in a while you get lucky. Something I had to learn, and take shame every time I fail, which is like 80-90% of the time. But I keep running the jump program, dammit!

So, in terms of my longevity, don't listen to LJ--he's a poopy head, who doesn't like cheese!

But, for the good of your game, and THE GAME, and the league, DO listen to LJ--play every down, and be willing to jump, fall back, and dive on any play that requires it.

Because at least some of them do, and if you don't, ball hits water, and the play is over. That's not something anyone wants to see, am I right?

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:58 am 
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Last night was 4 on 4 except for that first game with Misty and that other dude.

Dan, Chief, T-Bone, Dwayne vs. Lip, Lloyd the Tin Man, Jared, Mikey

I think that other dude, who exited the game to take a phone call, was the same dumbass who showed back up and grabbed the volleyball and wouldn't give it back (during a game...burning limited daylight). We started getting out of the pool and coming at him. Eventually he gave it up.

Never seen a jackass quite like this guy that takes the ball from us.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 12:42 pm 
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that was weird.

i thought 4s was fun. i enjoyed the open lane to spike. it was hitters paradise!

dwayne, dude, you gots to chill. you argue more than anyone. everyone just basically let you have every call towards the end as they were tired of hearing you yell. i won't consider that a noble accomplishment.

i am game sunday, assuming it isn't raining all over this mug

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:49 am 
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Actually we have seen something like that before, at Argosy.

There was one day where a guy showed up in street clothes wearing a backpack(!) and started insulting a pool full of 20 people.

Never seen him before, didn't know him or owe him--not a resident that I was aware of.

WTF?

And yeah, people didn't much appreciate his opinion and started getting out of the pool.

I did what chiefs have to do--I thanked him for his input, and encouraged him to leave. He figured out I was the "cooler" and told me to F off extra. My answer, "Thank you, keep walking...."

I'm not crediting my abilities here--no doubt helps when you've got don't mess with big dudes backing you up.

But I do remember what I told Jethro, which he didn't understand, but maybe does now:

A confrontation that leads to violence doesn't help anybody--us pandas least of all. I'm going to this guy as the cooler, hands down. That's a risk. If he pops me, feel free to drop him. But we gotta try my way first.

We did the smart thing at the end of WW and all left together, because those fools were still lurking in the back corner.

I'm nothing if not careful, and so was Tbone.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 9:40 pm 
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:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
:spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:










:DancingChief: :DancingChief: :DancingChief: :DancingChief: :DancingChief: :DancingChief: :DancingChief:


The Top 6 Players cuz riata iz but Gets No Love
in no particular order w/o a doubt










Wesshizle(JustKickaRecycleBinTennisServeSheriffstyle)Duhwayne(WwFCgarHangingArguingSouthpawWhinerKid)Donkey(BackwardsHorsehatShadeWearingMeisterTipingGumsSmackinAttackJack)
Dan(TheCreepyDemonizerPalmsDinkMasterThyOrginalBangOnOneMan)Bethany(NiceAlwaysSitLetYaPlayBumpSetServeGuru)Goliath(ChiefsingledayMotoHelmetWearinwowserBlockinFastServinOGargosyDweller)Nayber(AngerSensingHardrockBlastingNaybersbeentojailPreachingHuntingmaster)


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 2:00 am 
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Joined: Wed Oct 05, 2005 1:15 am
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Location: AWVP World Headquarters
Not sure what the last post means, but he's on about something. Does anyone speak Blah who can translate?

Just so you know, a cooler is not the easiest dancefloor in the world, especially if you want to explore the studio space.

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Death from above! Fire down below!


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 30, 2013 9:43 am 
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Location: Austin, Texas, Planet Earth
love those wild jethro AARs

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 10:54 am 
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Great thread


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