This post is for all Pandas and Koalas alike. Even you are New Blood, this is your opportunity to learn the rich vocabulary of the AWVP. Edumacate thyself! As some of you know, last fall I did a project for one of my classes on the vocabulary that has developed around the AWVP. This is the result.
Note: If you can think of any more terms that I have left out, simply post them as a comment and then define the term.
10-cent head—Phrase coined for the notoriously unstable Jimback, an excellent player known for making stupid plays. His head is 90-cents short of a dollar. To have a 10-cent head is to possess lower than normal mental capacities.
25-cent head—Phrase coined for Wild Boy Kevin, T2. He is notorious for being out of position for no reason and attempting difficult shots just to attempt difficult shots. Clearly not of a 10-cent variety, but something short of a dollar.
Amatuers or “F***ing Amatuers—Anyone who plays watervolleyball at a level lower than the AWVP. See The Big Lebowski.
Anarchy—Constant state in which the AWVP exists.
*AWVP—Formerly Argosy Fight Club. Still free to all.
Editor’s note—Stands for Association of Watervolleyball Professionals. Maintains the website,
www.watervolleyball.net, which is one of the first five hits on Google when entering either “watervolleyball” or “water volleyball.”
Back—See Brokeback Mountain. This term became applied to a player named Jim after he repeatedly referenced the movie and because of his homoerotic comments and actions. He became Jimback. The term came to refer to someone who often gets out of the pool and leaves the game because of unhappiness with a call, which Jim does repeatedly. I briefly applied the name Wesback after leaving the pool because of a contested net call. “Back” is added as a suffix to the person’s name.
Blah—Guttural ejaculation made famous by Jess Sorenson. Often uttered during or after important points and echoed by teammates. Also one of Jess’s nicknames. It is also important to note that Jess has his own language of incomprehensible gibberish uttered in lieu of saying the score.
*Buoy—Description of a useless player. My addition,
"Ding, Ding!" You know this one when you see it—no
initiative, fear of the ball, etc.
“Coast to Coast”—A spike hit from one side of the pool to the other, cross court.
Flexbone—A strategy developed during the 2006 season in which a player from the back row moves towards the net to attempt a spike. Often resorted by when the Wild Boys are present or the front line is being dominated by the opponent.
Flipper—The signature shot of Wild Boy Kevin, in which he hits the ball with the back of his hand. Often an emergency shot.
High line—A high and wide set that the hitter cannot reach. It is often said that “you cannot live on the high line.”
“Hit from the 4”—At the Argosy, a tile that indicates a depth of 4 feet is roughly equidistant from the net to the edge of the pool. Hitting from the 4 is difficult because it requires elevation and consistent contact. Mike Markides is known for these shots.
Holy Waters—The water of the Argosy pool. The water was blessed when the coming of the Savior, Mike Markides, when the game was in decline. The Holy Waters are said to have extraordinary healing properties, but are not suggested for consumption. The Holy Waters were blessed by the Second Coming, the Orange Jesus, Gabe Leingang.
*"Hump in shame" or “shame hump”—Kevin Knibb Original. Based off of the first
time the Wild Boys came to take me down (see above)
My line was this, "They may have hot girlfriends (hat
tip, Auntie Rachel, Jess’ girlfriend), but they lost. So tonight, they
hump in shame.
Funniest line--TJ: "What is hump in shame?" He was
told, and he fit the description. TJ : "NO! I don't
hump in shame!" Sorry, you do today, big fella!
Indian Creek Massacre—Infamous moment in the growth of the AWVP. Occurred at the Indian Creek apartment complex, when vet players descended on the pool and proceeded to destroy the residents in a game. Such destructions are often accompanied by looks of incomprehension.
Koalas—Derogatory name for a watervolleyballer not belonging to the AWVP.
Monkey/Monkeyball/Jungleball—Phrase coined in the 2007 season referring to an infamous incident in which Ronin Steve broke a netpole in half while hanging on the net. The AWVP allows players to touch the net during points, although many attempts have been made to outlaw the practice.
Moonball—A high-arcing serve from the hand of Jess Sorenson. The serve is notorious for jamming fingers and shaming rookies. Often makes appearances when the moon is out.
New Blood-As many players move into and out of the AWVP because of life circumstances, New Blood sustains the league by infusing it with new players.
*Nicknames—Most people have them. I'm more or less in
charge of doling them out. Think of the inspiration
motivating John Belushi in Animal House and you'll
have it about right. Editor’s note—Nicknames include Chief, Jesus, T2 (Terminator reference), Creepy Guy, Tattoo Jim, Sheriff (mine actually), SoulGlo, Tinman, Bunny (Big Lebowski reference), Marla (Fight Club reference), etc.
*Obstacle—The forum in which we do battle. See Full
Metal Jacket. Editor's Note-The Obstacle specifically refers to the Argosy pool, now known (and very classy I might add) as the Argosy at Crestview. Even though there are no crests in the area.
Office Monkeys—People who work in the offices of apartment complexes who will not allow league playdays to occur at the pool if the ratio of residents to players does not fit their criteria. Since Kevin is the only resident at the Argosy who consistently plays, this becomes a problem for the league.
“Onset of the barbarian hordes”—Expression used to denote many Pandas descending on an unsuspecting pool with the intentions of bringing great shame to local residents. A Kevin Knibbe creation, grown out of his avatar of Russell Crowe’s character from Gladiator.
“Out of your element”—See The Big Lebowski. This comment is often made to a player who continually misses shots or is playing poorly that day. It suggests that the pool is not a good place for them to be and that they are an inadequate watervolleyballer.
*"Out on Navy!" –Self explanatory for the most stubborn
person I've ever seen in the pool. He keeps making
sand ball plays in water, and then is confused when
they don't work.
Orb-The ball used for play and also the sun, the great orb in the sky, which often blesses playdays--except for the Worst Season Ever, that is.
“Pack it in”—Phrase used when a losing team appears to be giving up and should just give up and get out of the pool. Jimback, known for giving up and leaving the pool before a game is over, is the frequent recipient of this comment.
*Panda—Member of the group. Made man/woman--NOT to be
messed with—especially since Pandas often are reluctant to perpetuate their species. (origin--Fight Club). Editor’s note—the AWVP is often referred to as Fight Club, while to play is to fight.
*Poctar—Anus. See "Star Trek Enterprise." However,
the adaptation is somewhat idiomatic. It's the only T
shirt out there for the AWVP. Editor’s note—I find it amusing that one league participant notes on the website that his location is “In front of my poctar.”
Pro form—In a 3’s game, the non-serving team usually places two of its players on the server’s side. In a Pro form alignment, two players are in the back row, with one in the front, playing in the middle. Wild Boy Jess is the progenitor of this particular alignment.
*Ronin—In the Japanese fashion. Masterless men,
with no home. The kind of people who had more lore
than I, and the kind of people I didn't want to be. Editor’s note—often refers to Ronin Steve and Ronin Charlie, who formerly played in Dallas for years before joining the AWVP.
The Savior—Mike Markides. Also known as Jesus, he is famous for resurrecting the game as it declined and spiking the ball harder than anyone else can imagine. Also refers to his remarkable ability to seemingly walk on water and levitate himself above the play. Sunday is his preferred day to fight, as it is his day.
The Second Coming—As mentioned in the Bible. Refers to the appearance of the Orange Jesus, Gabe Leingang. He is also known as the False Messiah.
SoulHole—Developed from the nickname of one player, SoulGlo, infamous for his poor performances and lack of improvement. Finding the SoulHole means an end to the point.
Summer serve—A very poor serve, often one that does not even reach the net. Refers to players who only come out when it is very warm during the summer. There is an award at the Awards Ceremony every season to commemorate the worst “summer server.”
Technology—An encompassing utterance that can describe moving the cooler closer to the pool so people don’t have to get out to get beer, raising the net, or even developing new strategies to use in the pool.
"The Season Which Shall Never Be Spoken Of Again"-The 2007 Watervolleyball season. Not to be spoken of again.
*Vet Tricks—Make the "flow" of the game favor you by
slowing it down.
Editor’s note—As the skills of the vets slowly erode, this becomes a much more important tactic for them.
*Vets--Ronins with a home. They're supposed to be the
best of the best. Not so much anymore...NOT MY
FAULT. Editor’s note—Jess often referred to the 2007 season as “The Fall of the Vets ’07.” His view was borne out when the vet-killers beat the vets and many vets failed to show up for playdays when the Argosy was closed. See also "Vet tricks."
“Watervolleyball is not a crime”—Utterance heard often during the 2007 season as homeless Pandas wandered from pool to pool when the Argosy was closed. Most pools prohibit more than several non-residents from playing. Often heard after a resident revolt at the La Mirage apartment complex precluded any more playdays being held there. Watervolleyball is in fact not a crime, but it often treated as such by grumpy office managers.
Warpaint—Facial paint often worn by the notoriously unstable Jimback, with the intention of intimidating the opponent. Sometimes worn by other players.
*"Welcome to the NFL, Rookie!"—Comment made by a vet to a rookie player after the rookie has been taken advantage of in the pool, most likely after they have been unable to return a Kevin Knibbe serve.
Wild Boys—The nickname for the combination of Jess Sorenson and his partner in crime, Wild Boy Kevin, also called T2. They are known for being extraordinarily loud and often out of control. One of the primary reasons the AWVP has a poor reputation in certain circles. They are known for frequently flexboning and getting themselves out of position for reasons apparent only to them.
“Worst Season Ever”—Phrase often uttered during the 2007 season by Mike Markides. A result of the closure of the Argosy and unwillingness of the people who worked in the apartment office to allow Kevin Knibbe to hold playdays at the pool. See also “Office Monkeys.”
*indicates a definition developed by Kevin Knibbe.
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